Next Stop…Walmart?

I know I am going to receive a cyberslap for this, but I am going to take the risk and say it anyway: I hate Walmart. I didn’t always hate it. In fact, it used to be one of my favorite places to go. I used to love browsing through the fabric selections, the housewares, and kids clothes. Not anymore. Now I get in and get out as soon as I possibly can. If I can avoid using a cart, even better.

I went recently to get a few items and when I pulled up, there were 8 tour buses outside. You would think that would have served as a warning for me to steer clear, but noooooo. I went on inside anyway. I never saw such a concentration of foolishness all in one place like that. There are always tour buses full of people inside (though not normally THAT many tourbuses). I am convinced that every tour group stopping in Orlando has my Walmart on the itinerary. I have no idea where all these people come from, but I imagine they don’t have toiletries in their country considering how they buy them all up when they come to Walmart. Hundreds of people, each armed with their own shopping cart (because God forbid they share a cart) purchasing sticks of deodorant, fanny packs, and key chains. Why on earth are we still selling fanny packs? Anyway, I digress. The younger tourists are tossing poor little stuffed Minnie Mouses (or Minnie Mice, I guess) back and forth and riding skateboards across the floor. I never even knew Walmart sold skateboards, or maybe they brought their own?  Navigating the isles is like trying to get through a maze. No one can figure out what the hell to buy. Dangit, stop standing around cluttering the isle. They have a section up front just for tourists, you can get all your Disney T shirts and keychains there. No need to be standing around the friggin cheese case. And I saw a mullet on a woman who appeared to be in her 50’s. That was disturbing.

When I finally got to the checkout line, of course the woman in front of me has a million bottles of trial sized shampoo. WHY? Why not just buy a full sized bottle? She also had a bunch of toys, which she decided she no longer wanted after the cashier had already rang them out. I wanted to take a Slim Jim out of the box next to me and slap her with it. Then her two friends come from the back of the line to add their crap to her order. More keychains and flippin deodorant. And fanny packs. Hate Walmart, with all my might. I vow never to go there again, unless it is before 9:00 on a Saturday morning. And isn’t there a rule about coming into Walmart without shoes on? Flip flops are a dollar a pair. Put back one of your damm keychains and grab some. I am sure these people are not so uncivilized in their own countries. There’s no reason to behave that way just because you are in a place where people dont know you. Bring your deodorant from home, and put some darned shoes on. And leave Minnie Mouse alone, buncha damned bufoons. That’s all.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Jessica says:

    I could not agree with you more! I would prefer to visit the OBGYN instead of shopping at Wal-Mart! It is always a nightmare and I have no patience for the tourists that pack our Orlando stores! Also, the fanny packs are just disturbing. I remember those when I was a kid and how they were not “cool” to carry. Of course, my mom ALWAYS wore one when we’d go to the parks and I was mortified.

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