Thing 2 (yes, I refer to my twins as thing 1 and thing 2): Mom, can I do number two in your bathroom?
Me: No, my toilet is for liquid reception only.
Thing 2: So can I just do number one?
Me: Yes, and make sure you take a shower when you finish.
Thing 2: You want me to pee in the shower?
Me: Absolutely not. Use the bathroom, then take a shower.
Thing 2: So I don’t need to flush? You didn’t say flush.
Me: Aye, Dios Mio.
Thing 2: Does that mean flush the toilet in Spanish? Wait, don’t tell me (getting into the shower without flushing).
Me: Please always flush.
This is why having children fries your brain.