Momma’s Bathroom

Thing 2 (yes, I refer to my twins as thing 1 and thing 2): Mom, can I do number two in your bathroom?

Me: No, my toilet is for liquid reception only.

Thing 2: So can I just do number one?

Me: Yes, and make sure you take a shower when you finish.

Thing 2: You want me to pee in the shower?

Me: Absolutely not. Use the bathroom, then take a shower.

Thing 2: So I don’t need to flush? You didn’t say flush.

Me: Aye, Dios Mio.

Thing 2: Does that mean flush the toilet in Spanish? Wait, don’t tell me (getting into the shower without flushing).

Me: Please always flush.

This is why having children fries your brain.

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