With Empty Hands

Although I don’t consider myself a “mommy blogger”, I do like to talk about my kids. Those guys are a huge part of my life and just about everything that happens revolves around them somehow. I have not really decided on what my blog is really about, besides random thoughts that pass through my mind. I don’t write frequently enough to focus on one thing in particular, though I am hoping to change that.

I love reading the blogs by other moms. It gives me a sense of peace to know that I am not the only one out there who has ever raised her voice at her child before, and doesn’t have all the answers when it comes to being a parent. I love seeing pics of kids in action. I feel like a hypocrite when I am looking at those pictures, though. See, I can’t bring myself to post pictures of my kids on the internet. Well I post them on Facebook, but that doesn’t really count since only family and friends get to see them. I am very protective of my children. That’s not to say that a woman who posts pictures of her adorable kids is not protective. I am willing to bet that they all love their kids very much and would do anything to keep them from harm. I just can’t get the idea out of my mind that potential some pervert is scouring the internet, building a collection of pictures of other people’s children on his or her hard drive. That doesn’t sit well with me.

I know it sound crazy when I say this, but I suspect pretty much everyone who is not me of being a potential pedophile. How many times have you watched the news and saw a pedophile get busted in the act of nastiness? Plenty. And for each one of them, there is someone at home sitting on their sofa watching and thinking: “I have known so and so all my life! I never would have suspected them!” That’s because pedophiles don’t walk around wearing warning labels on their t-shirts. They look like everyone else. They wear jeans and business suits, drive cars and ride bicycles, and are both omnivores and vegans. Most people don’t suspect them of anything at all.

I am not posting this as a way of shaking my finger in a “shame on you” fashion to women who post pictures of their loved ones online. I just feel like I owe an apology of sorts. Mommy blogging is almost a sisterhood in a cyberspace-y kind of way. I get to know other women and their children through their blogs and no matter how far we may live from each other, I feel like I know them. Maybe we are even friends. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if we all got together for a play date. But being the one mom who doesn’t share pictures is like being the loser who shows up at a potluck with nothing but an empty Tupperware container. It’s cheating. To any mom who may be reading, I am sorry for cheating. You opened your homes and your lives to me through your slice of the internet, and I didn’t return the favor. I would love to, though. One day, when I become a more skillful photographer and learn to take pictures of my children without actually identifying them, I promise I will share. For right now, I sit here before you empty-handed.



One Comment Add yours

  1. shesreaching says:

    I understand this completely. Sometimes, I judge too harshly mommies who post pictures of their children online. I know I shouldn’t. But I do.

    I am way too paranoid and have watched way too many episodes of Law and Order (SVU) to not have this fear always lingering somewhere in my mind.

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