Tom Foolery Tuesday: Blood Sucker

My husband and I decided a few months ago to drop cable and go with Netfilx exclusively. It saves us a ton of money and works out really well for us. The only thing I miss is Cooking TV and Food Network. If I could find a way to get those online, I would be a completely happy camper. The downside is that I have to rely on the internet for news since I can’t just tune into CNN or BBC anymore. While many stories are beneficial (like the hurricane that is possibly coming my way), quite a bit of it serves primarily as entertainment. It would be selfish of me not to share some of that entertainment with you all via Tom Foolery Tuesday.


Last week, a vampire was arrested for breaking into a woman’s house and trying to feed off of her. Yes, this happened in real life. Of course people are beginning to think that the vampire craze, thanks largely in part to the Twilight Saga, has resulted in this sort of ridiculous behavior. I am here to say that it most certainly does not. I love a good vampire romance as much as the majority of teenage girls in the country, but I am not prone to feeding on human beings. Anyone who is old enough to read such books is old enough to differentiate between fantasy and reality. So don’t go pulling Twilight off all the bookshelves in stores. This man is likely a fan of vampire novels, but had a misunderstanding. First of all, a vampire would not have been caught by the police. Didn’t Lyle know that vampires possess superhuman strength as well as speed? No way should a police officer have been able to restrain him. They shouldn’t have been able to catch him there in the first place, because his supersonic hearing would have alerted him to their arrival before they even parked the squad car. How do you call yourself a vampire and not understand the basic tenants of vampirism? I implore the sick people out there to stop using books and movies (and everything else) to justify your foolishness. You are going to ruin it for the rest of us.


This is the reason why I will be attending the grand opening of Breaking Dawn at a grown folk’s theater. No offense to the young people who happen to be fans, but I would actually like to be able to enjoy the movie without being bitten by some loon wearing red tinted contact lenses. I will also be more diligent in keeping my house locked up at night since “they’re climbing in your windows, snatching your people up……”. So hide your kids. Hide your wife. Thanks Antoine Dodson, for the warning that no one felt the need to take heed of. And to Lyle, the 500 year old vampire who provided me with a much needed laugh, you have officially been crowned Fool of the Week.


Read the full story here:


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