Little Girl Lost

Words cannot express the extent of my despair right now. At a time when I can actually paint my toenails, I only have four toenails left to paint. Since running/trotting/walking the Biggest Loser Half Marathon, almost all of my toenails have separated from the nail bed and eventually fell off. My feet look a raggedy mess. Yes, even more so than usual. My husband is terribly grossed out by the whole thing, so I usually wait until he is eating to point out the misshapen state of my toes. I’m still waiting to see if the nail on the big toe of my left foot will fall off, because it is by far the ugliest of all. It’s still holding on strong, though. Maybe I’ll just paint that one. There’s one other toenail that’s on its way out, and I feel like the Count from Sesame Street doing a countdown right now.

I’ve been advised that my toenail situation is the result of running in shoes that don’t fit properly. The running guru at work recommended Altra running shoes since I have wide, manly feet and Altra shoes have a nice wide toe area. I think that will solve my problems for the next race. Which brings me to my real reason for blogging today: I need another race.

When I was training for the half marathon, I felt like I had a purpose. The long weekend runs, the short stints on the treadmill at work, and late-night Zumba sessions at home were preparing me to accomplish a goal that had been on my list for the last 6 years. But it’s done now. My finisher’s medal is hanging on my cubicle wall in all its lonely glory. I don’t have a race to train for, and I am wandering around like a lost child on my fitness journey. Apparently, I’m one of those people who need specific goals to reach for. Otherwise, I’m completely unmotivated. I’m terrified of gaining back the weight I lost, but I can see it happening if I don’t find some incentive quickly.

I pulled out my notebook and scoured the internet for upcoming races in my area. I don’t think I’m ready for another half marathon just yet, but I can see myself doing one in the near future. For now, I have my eye on a few 5 and 10K’s. I’ll keep y’all posted, especially since I might have to hit you up for donations at some point.

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