Thing Two: I found your kitchen. There’s a cat in it. How many cats do you even have?
Little Linebacker: I can’t remember. I think four. Leave my cats alone.
Thing Two: Ha! I just stepped on one. It’s not dead though. At least I don’t think so.
Little Linebacker: You stupid jerk! I told you not to touch my cats. [Hits Thing Two in the face with a sofa cushion]
Thing Two: It’s just a stupid computer cat.
[Electronic cat meows in the background]
Little Linebacker: You’re not a cat person. You don’t love cats as much as I do.
Thing Two: [Highly offended] You don’t even know. I’m the biggest cat lover after mom.
Little Linebacker: Just get out of my house. You shouldn’t come in people’s houses without asking, anyway.
Thing Two: I need to eat. Get some food and meet me at the beach for a picnic.
Thing One: [Looks up from her book] You guys are such idiots. Read a book, or do something constructive.
[Little Linebacker throws sofa cushion at Thing One.]